In this day and age – what don’t we feel pressure around, am I right?!
Well, when it comes to my world (the wonderful world of public speaking) dang near everything is pressure. Speaking in front of others is like being in the most intense pressure cooker ever.
And maybe the biggest thing I hear and see from folks, is the pressure they’re feeling to conform to a certain look or standard. I never want you to feel like you have to fit into something you’re not!
Trying to be someone you’re not, while crappy in any situation, is a recipe for disaster as a speaker! Pretending or trying to be something else can really mess with your mindset, screwing up your confidence and authenticity, which can lead to a lackluster outing.
Plus, it’s zero fun. And you probably won’t connect with your audience.
ADVICE FROM A MENTOR
When I was leaving my first real TV job to move on to a bigger station the next province over, my News Director at the time walked me out on my last day to say goodbye and give me his best advice.
We stood there in the parking lot and he told me that this business and some people in it would try to change who I was and that everyone would have an opinion. He went on to tell me that staying true to myself was the biggest, most important thing.
That was back in 2009. And to this day, I still believe in those words.
For sure, there were times I did exactly what I was told was “best” for me. I let a makeup artist turn my eyebrows into Nike swooshes. I let a stylist throw out all my band shirts I had been collecting since I was 13. I let a producer talk me into wearing a watermelon on my head and marching along with Riders fans. I know.
But as my career went on, and I started to find moments where I could truly be more “Kahla”, I found it went over really well. And even if it didn’t – I still had a lot of fun being me.
Developing your own unique speaking style is key to leaving a lasting impression and building genuine connections. I’m a big fan of letting your personality shine through and embracing what sets you apart from the crowd – and – using it to your advantage!
So, if you’re over there waving your hand all “Yes!! I want to find my own speaking style!! I want to be meeeee!!” and you want to connect with your audience, then read ahead!
WHAT DO YOU ADMIRE IN OTHERS?
Think of three people who you watch or listen to who you really admire. It could be YouTubers you like, or podcasters you like listening to, or maybe a colleague at work that you think really crushes it in meetings. Maybe it’s a friend of yours, who is super engaging and dynamic at dinner parties!
Make a list of three people who capture your attention and then underneath each name, write out what you like about them. Why do you enjoy listening to them?
Maybe it’s the way they tell stories or the way they’re always smiling and looking so warm or inviting. Or maybe they’ve got a funky style and they always wear bright, purple lipstick or something like that. It can be anything at all but write down why you are drawn to them in the first place.
This will give you a good idea of what you really like and what you recognize in others can be a sign of what you recognize in yourself too! You can then start to incorporate some of these things into your style.
WHAT DO YOU ADMIRE IN YOURSELF?
It’s another list! This time, I want you to write out a list of all the things that make you unique. How would your best friend describe you? What would somebody who truly knows and loves you, say about you? What are you told over and over again that you really excel at?
These are definitely things that you can work into your presentations.
Maybe you have a wicked cool sense of style – bring that to the stage. Maybe you adopted the quirkiest rescue dog – do you have some fun stories about them that you can work into your presentations? Maybe you overcame a massive challenge and your story is super inspiring because you’re dedicated and you’re a hard worker.
Make a list of those attributes and see if you can work them into your speech, presentations, or videos. It can be anything from making the best lasagna in the whole world, or absolutely loving horror movies, or being super funny.
If it’s authentically you – it can and should be worked into your presentation!
Just take your time and explore your strengths, try out different storytelling techniques, really experiment, practice, and refine your style until it truly reflects the amazing human being that you are!
The more you embrace your uniqueness (even in a very conservative, corporate environment) the more your audience will be drawn to your speaking magic, and the more of an impact you’ll make.
And isn’t that why we’re here?
– Kahla